=========================================================================== *** THE ALT.GEEK FAQ *** Version 1.01 December 15, 1994 Written and compiled by Basehead and Tom Richardson with invaluable assistance provided by generous geeks all over the world. Where possible, the authors have cited the contributors responsible for items quoted herein. Please e-mail questions, comments, editorial suggestions, spelling errors, punctuation errors, and (of course) flames to Basehead who has graciously volunteered to accept the duties of the Keeper-of-the-FAQ(tm). =========================================================================== CONTENTS 1.0 What is this Newsgroup all about? 2.0 What is a Geek? 2.1 Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary(tm) Says 2.2 The Santa Cruz Definition--Geeks as Computerphiles 2.3 Geekishness Defined by Characteristics 2.4 Geeks Versus Nerds 2.5 Can "Geek" Be Used as a Verb? 3.0 What is a Nerd? 3.1 Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary(tm) Says 3.2 The Santa Cruz Definition 3.3 Difference? What Difference? 4.0 What is the Geek Code? 4.1 Geek Code Documentation 4.2 Location of Geek Code Interpreter 5.0 Geek Babe and Geek Hunk Awards 6.0 Rules of Thumb 6.1 Content Suggestions for .Signatures 6.2 Flaming and Trolling 6.3 Off-Topic Discussions 7.0 Addendum (As There's Only One Now) 7.1 Is there an Official Geek Holiday? =========================================================================== **1.0 What is this Newsgroup all about?** This Newsgroup is an advocacy group for geeks. What? You thought that Usenet itself was one big advocacy forum for geeks. Well, you may have been right as recently as the summer of 1992, but now that the internet has been *discovered* it has become populated by all sorts of cool, with-it, socially adept persons who would never classify themselves as geeks. 'What is a geek,' you ask. 'Can't geeks be cool, with-it, and socially adept?' See Section 2. **2.0 What is a Geek?** Since you are reading this, it is entirely likely that *you* are. Don't bother reading the rest of this, just go and look in a mirror. What? You don't consider yourself to be a geek. By all means read on. Or if you don't care to know, ask your sysadmin to show you how to unsubscribe to this newsgroup. Just ask her politely. She's very busy. Actually, there is no consensus (even on alt.geek) as to the definition of the term "geek." A sampling of a number of the competing definitions follows. **2.1 Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary(tm) Says** _ "geek \'gek'\ n [prob. fro. E dial. geek, geck fool, fr. LG geck, fr. MLG] (ca. 1942): a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usu. includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake"--Merriam-Webster, Inc., 1986 While there isn't much discussion of carnival performers or biting the heads off of things in alt.geek, this definition was included for historical completeness. Actually, a variant of this definition appears in discussions of the definition of "geek" more often than the authors care to admit. No need to bring it up again. Everybody here knows about it. **2.2 The Santa Cruz Definition--Geeks as Computerphiles** "A geek is someone who spends time being "social" on a computer. This could mean chatting on irc or icb, playing multi-user games, posting to alt.sex.bondage.particle.physics, or even writing shareware. Someone who just uses their computer for work, but doesn't spend their free time "on line" is not a geek. Most geeks are technically adept and have a great love of computers, but not all geeks are programming wizards. Some just know enough unix to read mail and telnet out to their favorite MUD. "Geeks are generally social outcasts from mainstream America. The ranks of geekdom are swelled with gamers, ravers, science fictions fans, punks, perverts, programmers, nerds, subgenii, and trekkies. These are people who did not go to their high school proms, and many would be offended by the suggestion that they should have even wanted to. Geeks prefer to socialize with other geeks, the self proclaimed weird. Therefore they go online to organize parties, food runs, drink runs, and movie nights, and be assured that their companions would rather talk about superheros as modern mythology than the latest football scores. "Geeks are their own society: a literate, hyperinformed underground. The community accepts people from all walks of life, assuming they have access to the net and the skill to use it. Geeks are rather openminded with regards to nonstandard lifestyles. Many geek are queer, more practice non-monogamy, and the most common religion is neo-paganism. You can't tell if someone is a geek just by looking at them, there is no dress code. Some dress casual, some prefer silk - but few pay attention to current fashion. You are more likely to see a geek in a renaissance bodice than a dress from glamour magazine; or a tiedye instead of suit and tie. "The unwritten geek credo states that originality and strangeness are good, and that blind conformity and stupidity are unforgivable."--Anything for a weird life **2.3 Geeks Versus Nerds "Personally, I think both geeks and nerds are intelligent, particularly strong in the "left brain" areas of math and science, interested in the high-tech stuff that's out there now, and usually a fan of science fiction or fantasy. I think the real difference lies in the social aspects. A geek will not put off what needs to be done because of social activities, but neither will s/he completely abandon the social scene. A nerd is usually very anti-social because s/he cares very strongly about his/her studies, and God forbid something like friends should keep him/her from that 4.0. Also, geeks usually dress better - again, they're more social, so they have a better idea of what matches what. Nerds are ostracized, and they don't give a damn what they look like - all these people that care what matches are fashion slaves, and just wait 20 years down the line and see who's on top." "It is also my opinion that many geeks are shoved over to the 'nerd' end in middle and high school for at least a while, because occasionally their peers will ostracize them for being more intelligent. Usually, late in high school or in college, they, along with many purebred "nerds" blossom into full geekdom because they find other people with similar interests and who are not afraid of intelligence." **2.4 Geekishness Defined by Characteristics** Geeks have certain common characteristics. Not all geeks share every (or even most) of these characteristics, but they are useful for identification purposes. A sampling of important geek attributes is given (in perceived order of importance) below. A longer list may be found in the geek code (Section 4). Intelligence--Geeks know they are far smarter that just about everyone else. Many actually are. Academic Interests--Geeks tend to excel in mathematics and the physical sciences. Actually geeks tend to do rather well in all academic disciplines. Technology--Geeks are natural technophiles. Computers--Geeks love computers. Social Abilities--Geeks tend to have underdeveloped social skills. Appearance--Geeks typically do not display a strong fashion sense. If there is a "geek uniform" it is probably bluejeans (or polyester pants), a tee shirt (or short-sleeved polyester dress shirt), and glasses (with tape on the bridge of the nose for the truly advanced). **2.5 Can "Geek" Be Used as a Verb?** Sure. Why not. Go with it. "'To geek' is to sit online and read mail, news, chat, and otherwise waste time in front of a keyboard. This "geeking" often consumes many hours, even if the intention was to 'just log in and check my mail.' Some would say this time would be better spent being social in person or even just being curled up in a sunbeam."--Anything for a weird life **3.0 What is a Nerd?** So, you feel like you've mastered geekology and are ready to move onto more advanced topics. No problem. **2.1 Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary(tm) Says** "nerd \'nerd\ n [origin unknown] slang (1965): an unpleasant, unattractive, or insignificant person"--Merriam-Webster, Inc., 1986 I bet you can guess why we aren't sending these people Christmas cards this year. **2.2 The Santa Cruz Definition** "A nerd is a person with no social skills, usually obsessed with science or technology (geek is more computer specific). Nerds are known for their pocket protectors, taped glasses, and plaid shirts. Many nerds are also geeks, using the net as a safe screen to hide behind while practicing their social skills. However they rarely come out to be seen in person at live geek events, so there is little reason to be concerned."--Anything for a weird life **2.3 Difference? What Difference?** Some of us believe that the terms "geek" and "nerd" are synonyms. Like "drink" and "beverage". You use the term "beverage" (or "geek") when you want to convey that extra <>. Currently, linguistic theorists hypothesize that one can gage the importance of an object to a culture by counting the number of words that the culture possesses in its language for the object. Geek, nerd, dweeb (although not exactly synonymous),...etc., etc. **4.0 What is the Geek Code?** When a young geek takes on the mantle of geekhood, he or she is honor-bound to abide by a set of rules...Oops. Sorry. We're not supposed to reveal that part to the uninitiated. Oh, *that* geek code. Good. It appears that you've noticed the cryptic symbols that some people on the internet have been appending to their .signatures. Well, those symbols are a shorthand way that we geeks have of revealing information about ourselves. And you thought we lacked social skills. Indeed. **4.1 Geek Code Documentation** Actually, most of us use the source code in lieu of any documentation. As someone from the Unix-Hater's Listserv once remarked, "after all that's what the computer uses for documentation, isn't it?" **4.2 Location of Geek Code Interpreter** The author of the Geek Code is Robert A. Hayden. To get a copy of the current code, try finger hayden@vax1.mankato.msus.edu. "Ungeek", a perl script that parses the code, has been posted here a number of times. Ungeek was written by Robert L. McMillin. You may obtain a copy of ungeek by anonymous ftp at....[this part currently under construction] **5.0 Geek Babe and Geek Hunk Awards** In October, 1994, somebody posted a call to the alt.geek community to select a Geek Babe and a Geek Hunk for 1994. After a wild week of campaigning, the winners were announced: Geek Babe: alt.geek's own HEATHER BOGART. Geek Hunk: Jonathan Frakes, who played Commander Riker on "Star Trek: the Next Generation(tm) Congratulations to the winners. Fan mail is encouraged. Thank you for participating. Don't forget to vote next year. **6.0 Rules of Thumb** The internet has netiquette. Emily Post has...something...postnasal drip(?). And, yes, we (the socially inept masses on alt.geek) have our own rules of thumb. Follow them if you wish. Break them, stylishly (or brutishly), if that is your pleasure. Be young (at heart). Have fun (or at least give it the old college try). Drink Jolt(tm) cola. ***6.1 Content Suggestions for .Signatures*** "Is there some unwritten rule that .sigs must always quote something stupid and irrelevant, and in doing so, make the originator look like a moron..."--Dr. Michael Mancini Well, *yes*. Sort of. And this is it. In written form, that is. You have probably seen .sigs in many newsgroups (not just alt.geek) that make you wonder how the poster can append something like that to his/her message. You may find yourself running across a lot of these here. You probably feel embarrassed on behalf of the person who lacks the social skills to feel the embarrassment him/herself. You're right. We do lack those social skills. Welcome to alt.geek! Actually, some of us would argue that we have an enlightened perspective from which we view our culture's taboos. We may feel the need to comment on our society's silly prejudices, sacred cows, and forbidden subjects. We may choose to make those comments in our .sigs. Some of us may even post really long satire's of what we feel to be great works of literature in an attempt to create some sort of geekcentric fusion which results in a .sig conglomeration that dwarfs the size of the "body" of our message. Hey, we're geeks. What do you expect? **6.2 Flaming and Trolling** As opposed to most newsgroups, the authors of the FAQ *encourage* flaming and trolling on alt.geek. Why? Because some of the most articulate postings that the authors have seen in this newsgroup have been written in response to someone's geek-bashing flame-post. For example, the following was excerpted from a response to a typically mindless anti-geek rant. "Well actually geek is seen as a compliment, but not from people like you. It is analogous to the black on black usage of "nigger" or the gay on gay use of the word "queer". I don't mind being called a geek by my peers in computers or other technical fields and I have a rather patronizing tolerance for those others who use it in a non-malevolent manner. The use to which you are putting it is, of course, in the perjorative sense. By doing so you are paradoxically insulting yourself, and in front of the least sympathetic audience at that! How you might ask? Well, as you know words sometimes have a different meaning when they are used by a different group of people. The term geek, when used by alleged non-geeks such as yourself, refers to the stereotyped image of a geek. This image...[a]s with all stereotypes...is merely a shortcut to thinking used by those who find thinking an unpleasant exercise. To those inside the in-group (self-described geeks), the term can mean someone who is highly competent in any number of (usually) technical areas or...in...[any] activity that involve[s] a great deal of mental effort. Often these activities do not grant the participant a high degree of social standing, as they often require knowledge, the capability for abstract thought, nonconformity or other characteristics not usually possessed by the population at large. Internal to the geeks however, these characteristics are desirable and are often persued to the point of absurd extremes. So in effect, you have insulted yourself by: "a). Not fully appreciating how the word geek is used, thus showing your ignorance. "b). Through a)., demonstrating your disdain for people who are smarter than you and/or intellectual activities. "c). Doing so in an advocacy group which is unlikely to agree with your views, nor view your opinions as constructive criticism. "Any of these alone is enough to make you appear foolish, together they depict you as a clueless net.newbie....We like being geeks, deal with it..."-- Pope Electric Yeti **6.3 Off-Topic Discussions** We (the authors of this FAQ) have pretty eclectic tastes and haven't really seen anything yet on alt.geek that has been so "far out" that we have felt the need to suggest that the discussion be continued elsewhere. If there is a geek "slant" to the topic, it's probably relevant. But, please don't take this as a challenge. Given the nature of the internet, even those with the most eclectic of tastes are bound to gag on something. **7.0 Addendum (As There's Only One Now)** **7.1 Is there an Official Geek Holiday?** Yes. Isaac Newton's birthday, December 25th. Go ahead. Take off from work. Spend the day with your family, or however else you like. We at alt.geek ask that you take a few moments to think about the contributions of the co-inventor of The Calculus. By the way, we hear that Newton was very proud of the fact that he died a virgin. That would be !y in the geek code. =========================================================================== *** *** *** After we get our geeky lawyer friends to write up a copyright blurb, it's going to go right here. Until then, we'll just ask everyone to try to use good judgement. Or our lawyers will rip your lungs out. As soon as we get around to paying them that retainer, of course. *** *** *** ===========================================================================